If you’re new to RiveraLife then this is an important piece of information. My husband and I have always known we were going to adopt. This past year we felt like the timing was right to begin the process and so we did! We went through the paperwork, the classes, the ups and downs and finally started meeting with a set of 4 kids that we thought were going to be ours… and then that fell through. Recently we went through the process yet again thinking that we would get the oldest of those 4 kids…. And just recently that fell through as well.
It’s a pretty broad term, “fell through.” It’s used primarily for confidentiality and respect but still, it’s annoyingly vague. I can tell you this: adoptions fall through for a million reasons. If you’ve never been through that process it is complex, cumbersome, and has so many variables outside of your control. For us, working with CPS and the foster care system was an added round of challenges, paperwork, and things outside of our control. Things happened, stuff changed, decisions were made, and it just fell through.
When I tell people that our adoption fell through the first response is something like, “We just never know what God’s plan is” or “Well you guys did what the Lord said and we know He’s got this.” But honestly… I don’t know how true that is. It’s a well-intentioned response and I completely understand it but the reality is maybe God had nothing to do with it. Maybe we didn’t hear from the Lord correctly. Maybe we got the timing wrong or just screwed it up. Maybe the issues with CPS threw off what His original plan was and it just didn’t work out. Maybe it was going to be great but we made some other mistakes that caused God to pull back. I honestly have no idea what happened and we may never know. I do know we have complete peace and still get to have a relationship and make an impact on an amazing kid so we know that either way no matter who is at fault or what happened, God can certainly turn any situation positive.
My point here is not to make sense of any of this because sometimes life just doesn’t make sense. (For more on that see my last post A + B = !#%?$*&@) My point is why are we so quick to put the blame on God when something goes wrong? Why is it always, “Well you never know what God’s plan is?” Listen, I totally understand that His ways are better than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts… but we still have a choice. God can tell us what to do and have a plan but ultimately it’s up to us to follow it. I feel like sometimes God is up there going, ‘Umm… that was all you. That wasn’t my way at all.’
I don’t believe God has a (singular) plan for our lives. I think he has a million plans for our life that coincide with our ability of choice. He has one destiny for our life, and one calling, but a million plans and ways that He can get us there. If this whole “free will” thing is real, then He would HAVE to have a million plans. Because we’re people! And we screw things up a LOT. I feel like our first reaction when something goes awry in our life shouldn’t be to think, “Oh I guess God has a plan for this.” I’m sorry but if you get evicted I’m not thinking that was God’s plan. Maybe you just didn’t pay your bills. I don’t think my background of sleeping around and doing drugs was God’s PLAN. Are you kidding me? If that’s the “good” God we serve I don’t want any part of it. Thank goodness that’s NOT the kind of God we serve but that’s the idea that we communicate! We take these horrible things in our life and try to attach them to God when really He had nothing to do with it.
Let me clarify for everyone whose theological minds are about to explode. Yes, God is all-knowing, and all-powerful. But those things simply mean He sees all, knows all, and has the ability to enact control over all. However, we see clearly in Genesis that He chose not to do that. He gave authority over the Earth to us and gave us the power of free will and choice. It would go against His nature as an honest being to take that power back from us and to go back on His word. So He doesn’t. He lets us screw up and ignore Him and do stupid things. But because He’s God that is all-knowing and all-powerful, He can redeem it for His good. Only God can do that. That’s the incredible nature of who He is and how wonderful He is. He takes the mess we made and turns it around for His glory and puts us back on the path toward the destiny He has prepared for us. That’s the incredible thing about God.
Do I think we will adopt one day, absolutely! Do I think this was God’s plan…. I don’t know. I really don’t. But my first reaction when something goes wrong in my life is always, “Hmm, I guess I missed a step.” So in this case I would have to say, “Hmm… I guess I missed a step.” Can God make something beautiful out of it, absolutely! Can our destiny still carry on the same, sure! But was this His original plan…. I don’t know that it was. And honestly, we may never know. But one thing I do know: He is still great. And really, that’s what matters.